The Great Outdoors

Until I was 10 years old my family vacation involved a yellow box on top of a yellow station wagon, four kids in the back seat and two weeks at a campsite. I can't imagine how my mother did it but the memory of her boiling water over a campfire to wash yet another pile of dishes has stayed with me. I have never had any desire to camp since. There is something ridiculous about leaving the comforts that thousands of years of evolution have delivered to use an outhouse, wait an hour for a cup of tea, and sleep in a nylon tent on the ground. All the campers out there would say 'I just don't get it'- they are correct.

Family life requires many sacrifices and the one I made most recently was to embark on a family camping vacation. O.k. it was car camping, and yes we had air mattresses, and the provincial park had of all things, flush toilets. But it was still camping.

There are some things I like about camping: The accoutrements, for example, appeal to me. (Particularly the stainless tumbler for the g&t.) The muskiness of campfire smoke and, of course, the toast. Campfire toast is second to none. I relished in the time to read and try my hand at watercolours. But the rest, come on.

Then there's Jill Frayne (I think daughter of June Callwood) who had her mid-life crisis in a tent in northern B.C. and wrote about it in , 'Starting Out in the Afternoon, a mid-life journey into wild land'. She left behind a teenage daughter and long-time partner to canoe through the backwoods with a guide and live for three weeks without so much as toilet paper. She continued on her one, sunburnt and lonely at times, shacking up with a younger man who had seen better days just to break the monotony, and learned to love the ritual of setting up a meager camp and hunkering down beside a small fire in the middle of nowhere. Nice to read - non-inspirational.

Although many things change in l'age, I remain a city girl.

A coat and handbag

Until one has comfortably accepted one's place in age moyen there is a tendency in our youth obsessed culture to dress young. Here in the great white north that generally entails some sort of jacket and for women a shoulder bag, knapsack or some other flung-over-the-shoulder stuff holder. That works for a long time and is extremely functional when you're herding around small children. But when that phase ends it is time to dress in l'age. While it is important to dress for your 'age' it is critical not to look like you just came out of Talbots. Talbots is fine for the aging boomers but not for the middle-aged Joneses. (More on that demographic in a separate post.)

For me dressing in l'age began with a handbag. I dropped the shoulder bag in favour of a well-constructed, somewhat boxy, beige leather Tod's bag which I scored at Value Village for $6.99. It is a beautifully made bag with the right length of handle that prevents it from swinging around when I walk, it hangs neatly in the crook of my arm and, in a pinch, can slip over my shoulder when only two hands will do. It has the right number of pockets for small items and the main pouch is big enough for wallet, reading glasses, sun glasses and a paperback or collapsible umbrella. The sides are somewhat rigid so it never collapses when placed resolutely on a store counter or restaurant table. In short, it holds its own.

In addition to switching to the handbag I nixed the jacket for a coat. A jacket says I'm on the run, a coat says I'm making careful decisions and won't be rushed.

And that's it. You can make other changes but it's not necessary (although good shoes or boots help the cause). The coat and handbag represent experience, practicality plus style and, as my dear friend at Mid-Read observed, you are welcomed into most environments with a degree of gravitas, warmth and respect.

We often forget how those in l'age jeune are frequently treated with disrespect and poor service. Recently on a lunch hour excursion to the AGO my dear friend Mid-Read witnessed the less than hospitable treatment on the part of the security/front door staff towards some college students who found themselves in the door on a school trip stood up by their teacher who held the admission tickets. The students did not receive the same greeting as did those in other age brackets. In fact, the differences were notable and so insulting that my dear friend gallantly stepped in a bold effort to sweep them in under her membership umbrella. Even with our combined memberships we couldn't get them in (and such a missed opportunity for the AGO who would not budge to let these students and potential life-long members in for free) and they made do with strolling through the public spaces and being ignored.

Would the coat/handbag strategy have worked for these 19 year olds. I think not. They are the symbols of l'age and require years of effort to be able to brandish about. It is important to note that there are advantages to l'age and it is equally important to enjoy them responsibly.

There's something about a recession

Recessions are great excuses for bad behaviour. As I've already admitted, this is my fourth recession god help me, and it's always fascinating to watch asthe bull's underbelly is revealed. A couple of things that strike me: It's a great time to discard staff who are controversial, challenging or act as the scapegoat for management failures. Of course this doesn't apply to the folks in the manufacturing or construction sectors who are naturally hit by retractions in spending, this is more to do with organizations who use the recession as an opportunity to rid themselves of great chunks of staff under the guise of cutbacks.

The other thing a recession reveals is the status quo. In this recession it's the 'shocking' study reported today in The Guardian (guardian.co.uk) that shows women in the U.K.'s financial sector make on average 55% less then their male counterparts. Yes, 55%! Can you believe it? Isn't the 'acceptable' standard 79%? And this in one of the wealthiest sectors. It is outrageous that pay discrimination continues in any form (it's also outrageous that these folks make so much money with so little oversight but that's another post) but this stat is worthy of Gloria Steinhem, whom most of us in l'age moyen might remember. (Still love the pantsuits and square glasses, but that's another post.)

And then the same study by The U.K.'s Equality and Human Rights Commission reveals that women hold only 11% of senior management positions, a fraction of the already paltry 29% held be women across all sectors. (Note to Gloria, put the marriage on hold and get back to work honey).

All that grim news said, women are faring this recession far better than men. With manufacturing and construction jobs eroding the loss of these well-paying, blue collar jobs are disproportionately affecting men. Women on the other hand are heavily weighted in health and education and those sectors remain stable even in a recession. However, given that women continue to be paid less than men and are also more likely to hold pink collar (sounds as repressive as it is) service sector jobs (which pay less than construction or manufacturing, have lousy benefits etc.) is it that we're just cheaper? At last, a force that actually reverses gender discrimination - cheapness.

How will this wrong ever be made right? How many women do you know have quit their corporate jobs to work as consultants,start a small business, or move to the public sector because they can no longer jump through the hoops? What about those women in the U.K. who chose not to blow the whistle during the good times - still afraid they could lose the gains they've gotten even if still a fraction of what the men earn? Still so little to go around that the ones who land the brass ring are loathe to share?

I hate to be bleak in bleak times but it is hard to see how this is going to change this time around.

Art as Winter Therapy

Looking lovely in grey.

We went to the AGO on a freezing February Friday to enjoy the splendor of Frank Gehry's renovation. More than a renovation it is a renaissance for the building, the area and especially for the art. Finally, there is lots of art on display and worth investigating over the course of what we hope will be many sojourns.

Mid-winter Mid-age blahs

Sick of winter. Want, I say, YEARN for spring.

Two new sites to recommend: One about food and links to food blogs like you wouldn't believe. Fabulous food blog, Orangette. I'll make three new salads, 1. chickpea, 2. lentil, and 3. carrot.

The 2nd is linked to Orangette and provides some small, tidy moments of visual splendor, smosch.com.

Currently contemplating Easter dinner for 30. I don't want turkey or pork. What I really want is all end-of-winter things like when the larder is empty and all that's left are beans and lentils, cabbage and potatoes. It would be nice to have tender spring things but spring in the north doesn't arrive until the end of May. It could be raining, hailing or snowing. Or the sun could come out and we might sit outside to eat our salad plate - with homemade bread. Do you think I could get away with it?

Traditions are nice but get in the way of pleasure, relaxation and renewal. In l'age moyen we want to get rid of some of the old things that no longer fit, furniture, pictures, nik-naks, spouses, houses, and turkey dinners.

Recycling and Happiness

These envelopes hold the holiday thank you notes and were created by an inventive young artist. Reusing the paper liquor store bags, she craftily constructed each envelope to accommodate the odd-sized thank you notes, and played the patterned side against the plain one.

The paper bags are made of the sturdiest paper imaginable. I happen to have quite a few. The inspiration for this recycling project came from a certain Uncle Vance (not mine but someone else's) who regularly collages birthday and holiday greetings using the bags as a base. He reuses the cards sent to him and, with a little cutting and pasting, creates an entirely unique card. Think of the cards you receive and how few really resonate - Uncle Vance's are always remarkable.

My own dear mother shares the same general 'age' as Uncle Vance and she has been known to clip the image from Christmas cards and reuse them as gift cards. Brilliant and thrifty.

Those of us in l'age moyen might consider this quirky and creative, they simply think of it as thrifty. Any excuse will do. For me, I have another reason to drink wine in 2009.

A Grand Passion

I begin the year (a little late, granted) as I ended the last in hot pursuit of my beloved cornflower blue Corning Ware. The range of coffee and tea pots above have been collected over the last few years mostly from Value Village. I use all of them, well, I have yet to use the percolator - that pleasure is to come.

In addition to this series, I have casseroles and some very sweet stove top pans. I even have a pie plate with the cornflower smack dab in the middle of the plate. A nice surprise when I slice the pie.

Apart from the pleasure of finding each piece and tracking the slight design changes to the cornflower that accommodate their many different surfaces, I use them all for cooking and keeping food in the fridge. I can't even consider Le Creuset because I suspect the cornflowers would detect my disloyalty and wilt.

When did this grand passion start? When I was just a lass (that would be the '60s)I had an entire dish set of cornflower Corning Ware dishes, pots, pans, coffee pots, tea pots. So here in l'age moyen, I have reignited my passion but this time with the real thing.

As I recall the singular difference from the real thing were the black pan handles that clipped on and off. I played and played with this set and vividly recall the movers carefully wrapping each plate (tin) in packing paper before placing it in a box.

During a recent move I decided to let the movers pack the fragile kitchen stuff, including my Corning Ware. The mover scoffed at this. "I've seen that stuff drop down stairs without breaking". He missed the point. I couldn't risk a singled scratch on even one surface.

I welcome all pieces so please take pity on me and my passion and send them forth - to me!

What counts as relevant experience in l'age moyen?

As Caroline Kennedy throws her hat into the ring to take Hilary's Senate seat the question arises, what counts as work experience in l'age moyen? The work paradigm dictates that unpaid work is of less value than paid work. So if Caroline Kennedy has spent most of her adult 'working' life as a volunteer raising millions of dollars for charity, sitting on boards etc., does that count for less than Barack Obama's work, albeit paid, as a community organizer? What's the difference really?

Gender is the great divide in this instance. As a man, Barack could not duck out of the workforce for a few years to raise his daughters and devote his work energy to volunteer work in the form of community organizing. He was a full time, paid community organizer. His wife made the big bucks as a hospital executive. I imagine childcare was arranged for their children although it probably cancelled out his income.

Here's where the work paradigm affords women a legitimate alternative to paid work but with a catch. As a woman you can raise kids and work as a volunteer for a period of time or, if your household income permits, the rest of your life. The catch is when Caroline or Franca or Nancy want to apply for paid work the validity of that time as a homemaker/volunteer is called into question.

Jeffrey Tobin, a writer for the New Yorker and CNN political commentator, was quick to comment that for most of her life Ms. Kennedy has been a homemaker. He admitted that she had raised millions of dollars for public education in New York, written a couple of books etc., but really she was just a homemaker. As a low paid community organizer Barack took a few hits for the relative obscurity of his work, but by and large he was able to position it as a platform for negotiation and activism that propelled him to the White House. Seems to me Ms. Kennedy is attempting to do the same - the difference is he was paid, she was not (in fact, she did receive $1 per year from the NY Board of Education for fundraising).

Let's face it, about 25 - 30% of women continue to stay home with children full time and a greater number take extended time out of the paid workforce to raise their children. Many spend a portion of that time raising money, volunteering in the school or participating on community committees and boards. Women often return to paid work in l'age moyen (children are of an age and women are ready for the next phase of their lives). Do any of these women leap forward in their careers when they decide to return to paid work as a result of this broadened life/work experience? Hardly. It is simply discounted and by and large you have to make up for the lost time by returning to your pre-leave role or starting anew. The work paradigm rewords continuous years of work with access to influential, well-paid jobs. This paradigm negatively affects a woman's ability to build wealth in the 2nd half of her life which in turn, affects her ability to prepare for a secure retirement.

So can the paradigm shift to recognize the variety and depth of experience acquired by l'age moyen regardless of the venue? It is quite possible that leadership requires broader thinking and wider exposure than what is currently seen in the paid workforce. Would all leadership benefit from folks having spent an equal amount of time out of the paid workforce? Could this financial crisis (caused mostly by short-term greed) have been avoided if people in leadership roles were better grounded in raising the next generation and building functioning communities?

I don't think Ms. Kennedy should be anointed Senator because she is a Kennedy, but I object to her qualifications being discounted simply because she has not been in the paid workforce.

Blog List and RSS Feed

I've added two things to l'age moyen. First, I've started a list of blogs that I regularly check in with and might be of interest.

Secondly, I've added an RSS Feed which, if I understand this correctly, will allow viewers to add l'age moyen to your bookmarks and it will list the posts in order of most recent. Look over here to the right for the orange icon with the diagonal lines and the word 'Posts' beside. Just click on it and it will ask to add it to your bookmarks. I'm new to this and have just RSS'd myself to a few blogs that I follow to see how it works. Let me know if it is useful (or useless).

Briefly, the blogs I've listed here are my absolute regulars for the following reasons:

Chocolate and Zucchini: I much prefer to read about food and cooking than do it myself. This is a fun blog hosted from Paris. She has a great reading list.

The Sartorialist: Well, I've written about this blog early on. I love it. Pure pleasure. My only beef is that he features a disproportionate number of photos of young women and middle-aged to well-aged men. When he does show a women in l'age moyen, it is wonderful, but doesn't happen often enough. Hence, my inspiration for the photos on this blog (without the photographic expertise - bear with me).

Junk Food Science: Debunking all the stuff we read about. She presents a compelling counter-argument on the mamogram as an effective tool for detecting breast cancer. Lots to read here on science and medicine.

Seth's blog: He has a lot to say about blogging (along with marketing and business)and is a kind of guru on what's going on with the www. For a neophyte like moi, it is a good grounding.

Is it worth living lighter to live longer?

I read an unconvincing book called "Princessa" by Harriet Rubin. Unconvincing in the sense that I'm somewhat persuaded but not thoroughly convinced by her argument that women should not attempt to play "a man's game" because we'll inevitably lose. Instead, she advises, harness the power of our feminine strengths (and wiles) and remain steely eyed. In my view, it is nearby impossible to come up with a winning strategy in what remains a male paradigm, but any advice should help. The career advice isn't what stayed with me.

I was more gobsmacked by the comment that women live longer because they live less intensely. What a damning fate! The truth in that statement is patently unjust and irritates me like a sliver. It's no secret that up until the last 20 years women's use of the healthcare system has been more frequent and for less serious health issues than men. Men save up their usage for middle-aged whoppers like heart attack, stroke or cancer. Men continue to live shorter lives, falling fast and hard when they retire.

L'age moyen delivers a thundering crash to the physical durability men have always assumed. After 40 the aches and pains turn to chronic shoulder and knee problems. They get vicious colds or worse pneumonia. They drink cranberry juice (urinary tract problems?) and stick to one cup of coffee per day. They are gradually becoming careful, conscious of their mortality and how the stats stack up against them. We can joke that once they're over 40 we should turn them in for a younger model but we'd probably still outlive this version. Here again men have the advantage with the trophy wife scenario. Having skipped the painful rise to affluence those broads will live even longer!

With women working full on in the last 20 years, on top of maintaining most of the household management duties, there has been a corresponding rise in heart disease and other serious illnesses among women. Still, we continue to live longer and, among my mother's generation anyway, spend a good chunk of time caring for ailing husbands alone and often unsupported, mirroring their younger lives at home with children.

I had a conversation with two men, one with youngish children. They were in agreement that bike helmets negatively affected the pleasure found in cycling and so neither were in favour of this safety practice. The women, on the other hand, thought less of their own pleasure and more of the responsibility they had towards their children, ageing parents etc. Their role as caretakers superceded the pleasure principle. Is gender or personality at work here?

The question for women in l'age moyen is, should we live harder and more fully now at the risk of dying younger? In short, take off the safety equipment in all its forms. Does it speak volumes that I use the word 'risk' in this context at all?

Is it inevitable that we will book-end our lives with caretaking instead of living for ourselves?

I know three things

Three things I know today:


1. The vast majority of women in l'age moyen look better in skirts. When in doubt ditch the pants.

2. You are admired for changing your ways: Justifying only demeans the act. Just do it.

3. Birthdays should never be made convenient. Celebrate each person's separately no matter how simple the party.

It's official, this is my 4th recession

Shockingly, it is my 4th recession. Not something to celebrate but at least I now know that it is not the end of the world as we know it.

The first one in the early '80s affected those of us who graduated from university arts programs with essentially no 'job skills' (as we were told time and time again). Yes, we were the first unemployeable, educated and hapless generation who picked our way through crappy jobs until things picked up in the late 80's. Then just as you established a degree of compentency, bam, the real estate/high interest rate crash of the late '80s early '90s sucked the life out of jobs and, more positively, the real estate market. Time to buy that first fixer-upper. That one was a doozy with fear lasting for many years. So, that recession was followed by the prosperity of the late 90's until, yep, the tech crash of 1999/2000. Happily, that didn't affect so many of us and at that stage, those of us just entering 'l'age' were experienced and able to skirt around the problem, surviving the blip with careers roughly intact. (Although I believe it changed work forever and heralded in an age where self-employment and contract work may be a safer bet than throwing your lot in with a single employer.) And here we are again, the 4th recession with everyone comparing it to either the Great Depression or at least the prolonged and wide-ranging recession of the early '80s.

So, that's roughly one per decade although this decade is showing two. The first one was relatively minor affecting one over-inflated sector and the 2nd is longish and structural like the biggies of the two previous decades.

This one seems to be based on debt, debt and more debt. Unfortunately, those of us who were trying to save a pittance for our old, non-pensioned age have been caught as well. It begs the question, is there any point in saving for old age when the earnings gained over the growth periods are wiped out by the inevitable recession? Is there any chance that we all won't be working in one way or another anyway? The one I really wonder about is if we should be bothering to save for our children's post secondary education when the economy will probably be so desperate for an increased tax base to pay for all the services needed by a non-pensioned cohort that they'll be throwing jobs at high school graduates just to get them working and paying taxes. Now it's all about graduate school and multiple degrees that incur huge debt (for either parents or kids), prolong adolescence and staves off the activities that are normally associated with adulthood including big ticket spending on homes and family stuff. I suspect education will be free or cheap because it will be mostly online and geared to getting kids in and out.


What really pisses me off about recession culture is the role the media plays in creating an environment in which fear overrides good sense and reasonable living. With all that is newsworthy and under-reported waiting to find a voice, all we hear about is how the recession may affect jobs, shopping and food banks. Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy? What is the media's role in feeding deflation? In this the 4th time around, it seems to me that the culture of recession mostly robs us of any sense that we have some control over our lives. Markets spin out of control (financial or real estate) and then the snowball begins to roll. It's always better to talk to folks who don't pay attention to the news, they continue to live their lives, christmas shop, have people over for dinner and give to food banks.

Should we, as the economic braniac, George W. advised after 9/11, just go out and shop?

Diana!

Cool Britannia arrives in America

When Tony Blair was elected Prime Minister in Britain after years of Thatcherism it was as though a pall had lifted from the U.K. All of a sudden, Britain was cool. Cool Britannia ruled.

With Tuesday's election of the ultra-cool Barack Obama, 'cool' has crossed the Atlantic. The U.S. is about to become very cool. More cool than it has been since JFK and Jackie were doing the twist on the 2nd floor of the White House. Fundamental Christianity, hawkishness and old white guys are so yesterday.

My predictions on the new cool:


1. Casual fridays are finally over. Men, even young men (under 30) will don suits with crisp shirts (white) and ties. The bar has been raised even for casual attire. When walking the kids to a Halloween party or speaking at an outdoor rally in the rain, Barack's has a classic casual uniform, black pants, a white shirt (open collar) and a black windbreaker. That's as casual as he gets. Cargo pants or worse, shorts, XL t-shirts and baseball caps are not clothes for grown men. RIP.

2. The waist is back: For women and men. The days of the baggy-ass pants are coming to an end, and not a moment too soon. It would be nice to see some young, shapely butts again. Lord knows, we women have had to squeeze our hips into ever smaller versions of everything during this miserable era. The thwarting of female power continues unabated ... that's a topic for another time.

For women, dresses are in. Michelle likes them and she looks pretty Jackie O. And they're pretty comfortable, versatile and, like the man suit, can hide lots of flaws. Plus you just have to throw one thing on instead of three (pants/skirt, jacket, shirt) Hilary's pantsuit can take a rest.

3. Public service is in. (O.K. the Wall Street Journal predicted it, but it is a nice shift from financial services)

4. Chili. Barack whips up chili for the family. cute.

5. Cool is not about age. Stephen Harper is about the same age as Barack and look what an old fart he is!


Amidst the financial crisis, the mortgage fiasco, young men and women being killed or maimed in Iraq and Afghanistan, at least the misery can be balanced with a little cool.

Penny Loafers at the Verity Club

A Middle-Aged Affair

It's always reassuring when an author you love is rediscovered. In fact, by the time you've reached l'age moyen that favourite author may be in for their 2nd rediscovery. In my case this author is Elizabeth Bowen.

The wonderful literary biographer, Victoria Glendinning has just written a book chronicling the 30 year love affair between Elizabeth Bowen and Charles Ritchie. Ritchie was a Canadian diplomat posted in London during the Second World War. It was through Charles Ritchie that I first discovered Elizabeth Bowen over 20 years ago. The route to Ritchie began by reading Cecil Beaton's diaries, the noted British illustrator and photographer who began his career in the '20s. Charles Ritchie moved in the same circles. Maybe he captured my interest because he was Canadian, debonair, a great conversationalist,(let's face it, Canadians aren't usually recognized as dazzling society folks) who knows, anyway I quite pleasantly made my way through Charles Ritchie's diaries. He wrote about Elizabeth Bowen with such admiration that I had to investigate further. So, I went to the bookstore and found her paperbacks - sad looking things they were - printed on the cheapest, roughest newsprint and featuring the most trite romance novel-type covers. Happily, the writing was so beautiful and the stories so interesting and quirky that I didn't let the covers deter me from working my way through all the books. Suddenly, she was rediscovered and Penguin reprinted her books with the usual Penguin panache. The BBC gave a couple of her novels the Masterpiece Theatre spin. She assumed her place as a first-class fiction writer. Of course, I felt quite smug for having been loyal to her at her low point.

What has this to do with l'age moyen? One of her best novels is The Heat of the Day which is set in London during the Blitz. It is considered to be a realistic depiction of the experience of being in London during these years. For those of us interested in all things l'age moyen, it portrays the love story between two middle-aged characters, Stella and Robert. The relationship hasn't a trace of naivete about it, and communicates the depth and conviction to ideals, both good and bad, that make l'age moyen so interesting. As a book to reread, its tone and complexity resonates even more deeply now that I'm in l'age moyen.

Elizabeth Bowen, The Heat of the Day
Victoria Glendinning, Love's Civil War, Elizabeth Bowen and Charles Ritchie, Letters and Diaries 1941-1973.

Profis Launch Party Bloor St.

Profis Launch Party Bloor St.

Profis Launch Party Bloor St.

Black Coat in Trinity Bellwoods

Social networking in l'age moyen

O.k. I admit it - I don't understand Facebook. I just don't get it and I don't particularly want to. It can't be a generational thing because lord knows many grandmothers are using it to stay connected with their grandchildren. I have resisted Facebook without knowing why although the light is beginning to dawn.

At this stage in life, friends are so important and the quality of those friendships easily trumps the quantity. Do I really want to reconnect with people I've gone to school or worked with over the last 40+ years? The answers seems to be a resounding 'no'. Maybe for others it's a way of reconnecting with the 'one that got away'. I probably have a few of those if I gave it an ounce of thought. My excuse is I can't afford to lose ounces here and there. I want to save them and lavish my friends with pounds of intense connection, even if we only manage to visit a couple of times a year (and even better if we manage a couple of times per month). Can it be replaced by a quick quip on Facebook? Not for me.

Public access to personal information gets under my skin. One pathetic example came on my birthday. I am linked into a facebook group and I received a birthday greeting from someone who wouldn't otherwise know my birth date. I was rather touched that he had discovered this from someone who would be privy to the date, and then he acted upon it. More fool I. Apparently, when I had to register in the group I needed to post my birth date (of course, I did it without considering the ramifications - should have known better), alas, now it pops up to remind all those in the group of my birthday. What did it achieve? An insincere birthday greeting. No harm was intended or endured, it's just the effect fell far short of the intent. No harm done - no goodwill gained.

You never know, I may get with it and find a role for facebook in my life. Or I can just wait for the whole thing to pass.

What are we waiting for?

As I'm having coffee with a lovely friend who is not yet 40 - not l'age moyen but one looks forward to welcoming her in - we agreed that we should seize the day so to speak when it comes to wearing the fabulous things we have tucked away in the closet.

Let's face it, when one finds oneself firmly in l'age moyen, one also finds a closet full of shoes. There are also a few exquisite black coats not to mention some suits, and more than a few blouses that count as real blouses not shirts. You love them, you buy them and then, you save them for special occasions. Ridiculous. This must change.

Take shoes as one example. Yes, you ogle the gorgeous shoes and you might even think they're classic and you can wear them forever. Well, you can't. Not only does the foot change over time what with all the wear and tear, but the shoes never come back the same way. Like all fashion, reference even homage is made to the past but it is tweaked for the 'now'. The only people who can really get away with vintage are the young. On those of us in the l'age, we just look like we need a wardrobe intervention. So what's the message here, put on the stilettos and make spaghetti sauce. Don't hold back. They won't last and you'll want to be part of the next great shoe movement. You know you will.

For years I saved this beautiful green tweed suit waiting for the big shoulders and double-breasted deatils to come back in style. Never has. 20 years later and those shoulders have just never returned - not in the same way. So, the suit is gone and perhaps I'll see it on the street one day worn with chic irreverance by some trendy young woman. That would be fun.

As part of my wardrobe's new lease on life, I've been wearing a cashmere sweater for the last 2 days that I've been 'saving' for 2 years. And I'll be cooking Thanksgiving dinner in my fabulous suede shoes with my gorgeous blouse and a skirt. I'll feel so French.

And, yes, to counter the affects of extended periods of time in heels, I'll be on my head the moment the guests leave.

My love for les voluptueux

To begin, I am the very antithesis of the full-figured gal. Of course that means there's nothing I love better than les voluptueux - big bones, full breasts, round hips preferably combined with a waist that slides in, even a little. I love it and most of all love it when the woman has the confidence to capitalize on the utter femaleness of her assets. Skirts, belts, jackets that cynch in at the waist with unabashed feminine flutter - lace, ruffles, frilly collars, all that stuff that makes me wish I was that sort of woman.

When I was about 14 years old my sister brought one of these voluptueux home and I followed her around like a love sick puppy. The few times that I saw her she always wore the same dress, it was kind of flowery and flowing with a belt, some kind of a fluffy collar and always always always, even in the house, mary janes with high heels. This was the '70's of course so the look was totally 'in' and utterly fabulous. She was about 18 at the time and new how to wear a dress and, most importantly, recognized that this way of dressing played to her assets. I remember her brother coming in to the house to pick her up a couple of times and he seemed just as entranced as I was.

The next time I spotted one of these babes in a little boutique on Bloor St. (there were still boutiques on Bloor st. back then) in the early '80s where this lovely woman was trying on hats. Again, like her predecessor, she wore a skirt and very feminine blouse, her hair was short and she was uttely feminine and completely lovely. I saw her again waiting in line to pick up tickets at the ballet. She was there with her daughter who must have been about 8 years old. I was so impressed that this 'mother' was still so feminine and attractive. Lucky little girl to learn from such a woman.

Then recently I found another such woman. I would guess that she is mid '30s (not age moyen but no girl) and she was not tall but completely voluptueux wearing a beautiful beige suit with wide legged pants, a short jacket that belted way in and an almost Tudor-like collar setting off her pale colouring. She was so stunning and so comfortable in this outfit that didn't cling, was elegant yet modern and emphasized every curve she had. Such an inspiration.

I regret (again) not having a camera with me so I could show you just what I mean.

Shoes, shoes, shoes

I love the fall. Time to pull out the fall shoes and, more importantly, to invest in new ones. The best shoe store in North America is to be found in Winnipeg. Yes, it is true - winterpeg has the most awe-inspiring shoe collection and it remains a shoe destination point for women living in New York and Paris.

Ronald's Shoes is still run buy Ronald. He chooses the shoes, orders them straight from Donald Pliner's Italian elves (among others including plenty from Stuart Weitzman), and fills his little shop on Osborne with the most beautiful shoes. Strappy, sensual, sexual shoes. You may choose Manolo - I'll take Ronald.

Another fabulous thing about Ronald is that he goes narrow all the way. 4A - need I say more you slim shod women? It is rare and wonderful. Even if you don't have narrow feet, after you've been suitably advised by Ronald's shoe counselors, your feet will slip into something beautiful and assume an elegant, even aristocratic bearing.

Let's be clear - these are definitely shoes for l'age moyen. No platforms, no 6" spikes, these shoes are made for women of a certain age and they make all the desirable bows to fashion without being a slave to it. We have to keep up in the accessories department of course, without looking as though we're aspiring to be 28 again. Nothing worse.

If for no other reason (and there may be none) when in winterpeg, take the longest stop-over possible, hop in a taxi and head straight for Ronald's.

If it were 3 women ...

I've had a little hiatus. I'm back. Enough said.

So, I'm glancing through the New York Times Online and there is a photo of Henry Paulson, Ben Bernanke and Chris Cox, and I can't help but think, if it were 3 women up there holding the world's largest economy in their hands, and who have clearly taken their eyes off the ball over the last few years, do you think there might be some questions around competency and gender? Do you think that might be more than a slight possibility?

It's just amazing to me that all of these men well into l'age moyen have really mucked things up through greed and sheer wanton hubris. I suspect this calls for a little gender discrimination and we should just say, get off the stage you men - you have been toying with matters beyond your bald comprehension and it is time to turn it over to the more rational sex.

And could Hank Paulson get himself a suit that actually fits? If he were a woman we'd be transfixed by the ill-fitting suit, and this from a guy who left Goldman Sachs with $38 million.

All these men with all this experience and what a mess it is.