What counts as relevant experience in l'age moyen?

As Caroline Kennedy throws her hat into the ring to take Hilary's Senate seat the question arises, what counts as work experience in l'age moyen? The work paradigm dictates that unpaid work is of less value than paid work. So if Caroline Kennedy has spent most of her adult 'working' life as a volunteer raising millions of dollars for charity, sitting on boards etc., does that count for less than Barack Obama's work, albeit paid, as a community organizer? What's the difference really?

Gender is the great divide in this instance. As a man, Barack could not duck out of the workforce for a few years to raise his daughters and devote his work energy to volunteer work in the form of community organizing. He was a full time, paid community organizer. His wife made the big bucks as a hospital executive. I imagine childcare was arranged for their children although it probably cancelled out his income.

Here's where the work paradigm affords women a legitimate alternative to paid work but with a catch. As a woman you can raise kids and work as a volunteer for a period of time or, if your household income permits, the rest of your life. The catch is when Caroline or Franca or Nancy want to apply for paid work the validity of that time as a homemaker/volunteer is called into question.

Jeffrey Tobin, a writer for the New Yorker and CNN political commentator, was quick to comment that for most of her life Ms. Kennedy has been a homemaker. He admitted that she had raised millions of dollars for public education in New York, written a couple of books etc., but really she was just a homemaker. As a low paid community organizer Barack took a few hits for the relative obscurity of his work, but by and large he was able to position it as a platform for negotiation and activism that propelled him to the White House. Seems to me Ms. Kennedy is attempting to do the same - the difference is he was paid, she was not (in fact, she did receive $1 per year from the NY Board of Education for fundraising).

Let's face it, about 25 - 30% of women continue to stay home with children full time and a greater number take extended time out of the paid workforce to raise their children. Many spend a portion of that time raising money, volunteering in the school or participating on community committees and boards. Women often return to paid work in l'age moyen (children are of an age and women are ready for the next phase of their lives). Do any of these women leap forward in their careers when they decide to return to paid work as a result of this broadened life/work experience? Hardly. It is simply discounted and by and large you have to make up for the lost time by returning to your pre-leave role or starting anew. The work paradigm rewords continuous years of work with access to influential, well-paid jobs. This paradigm negatively affects a woman's ability to build wealth in the 2nd half of her life which in turn, affects her ability to prepare for a secure retirement.

So can the paradigm shift to recognize the variety and depth of experience acquired by l'age moyen regardless of the venue? It is quite possible that leadership requires broader thinking and wider exposure than what is currently seen in the paid workforce. Would all leadership benefit from folks having spent an equal amount of time out of the paid workforce? Could this financial crisis (caused mostly by short-term greed) have been avoided if people in leadership roles were better grounded in raising the next generation and building functioning communities?

I don't think Ms. Kennedy should be anointed Senator because she is a Kennedy, but I object to her qualifications being discounted simply because she has not been in the paid workforce.

Blog List and RSS Feed

I've added two things to l'age moyen. First, I've started a list of blogs that I regularly check in with and might be of interest.

Secondly, I've added an RSS Feed which, if I understand this correctly, will allow viewers to add l'age moyen to your bookmarks and it will list the posts in order of most recent. Look over here to the right for the orange icon with the diagonal lines and the word 'Posts' beside. Just click on it and it will ask to add it to your bookmarks. I'm new to this and have just RSS'd myself to a few blogs that I follow to see how it works. Let me know if it is useful (or useless).

Briefly, the blogs I've listed here are my absolute regulars for the following reasons:

Chocolate and Zucchini: I much prefer to read about food and cooking than do it myself. This is a fun blog hosted from Paris. She has a great reading list.

The Sartorialist: Well, I've written about this blog early on. I love it. Pure pleasure. My only beef is that he features a disproportionate number of photos of young women and middle-aged to well-aged men. When he does show a women in l'age moyen, it is wonderful, but doesn't happen often enough. Hence, my inspiration for the photos on this blog (without the photographic expertise - bear with me).

Junk Food Science: Debunking all the stuff we read about. She presents a compelling counter-argument on the mamogram as an effective tool for detecting breast cancer. Lots to read here on science and medicine.

Seth's blog: He has a lot to say about blogging (along with marketing and business)and is a kind of guru on what's going on with the www. For a neophyte like moi, it is a good grounding.

Is it worth living lighter to live longer?

I read an unconvincing book called "Princessa" by Harriet Rubin. Unconvincing in the sense that I'm somewhat persuaded but not thoroughly convinced by her argument that women should not attempt to play "a man's game" because we'll inevitably lose. Instead, she advises, harness the power of our feminine strengths (and wiles) and remain steely eyed. In my view, it is nearby impossible to come up with a winning strategy in what remains a male paradigm, but any advice should help. The career advice isn't what stayed with me.

I was more gobsmacked by the comment that women live longer because they live less intensely. What a damning fate! The truth in that statement is patently unjust and irritates me like a sliver. It's no secret that up until the last 20 years women's use of the healthcare system has been more frequent and for less serious health issues than men. Men save up their usage for middle-aged whoppers like heart attack, stroke or cancer. Men continue to live shorter lives, falling fast and hard when they retire.

L'age moyen delivers a thundering crash to the physical durability men have always assumed. After 40 the aches and pains turn to chronic shoulder and knee problems. They get vicious colds or worse pneumonia. They drink cranberry juice (urinary tract problems?) and stick to one cup of coffee per day. They are gradually becoming careful, conscious of their mortality and how the stats stack up against them. We can joke that once they're over 40 we should turn them in for a younger model but we'd probably still outlive this version. Here again men have the advantage with the trophy wife scenario. Having skipped the painful rise to affluence those broads will live even longer!

With women working full on in the last 20 years, on top of maintaining most of the household management duties, there has been a corresponding rise in heart disease and other serious illnesses among women. Still, we continue to live longer and, among my mother's generation anyway, spend a good chunk of time caring for ailing husbands alone and often unsupported, mirroring their younger lives at home with children.

I had a conversation with two men, one with youngish children. They were in agreement that bike helmets negatively affected the pleasure found in cycling and so neither were in favour of this safety practice. The women, on the other hand, thought less of their own pleasure and more of the responsibility they had towards their children, ageing parents etc. Their role as caretakers superceded the pleasure principle. Is gender or personality at work here?

The question for women in l'age moyen is, should we live harder and more fully now at the risk of dying younger? In short, take off the safety equipment in all its forms. Does it speak volumes that I use the word 'risk' in this context at all?

Is it inevitable that we will book-end our lives with caretaking instead of living for ourselves?

I know three things

Three things I know today:


1. The vast majority of women in l'age moyen look better in skirts. When in doubt ditch the pants.

2. You are admired for changing your ways: Justifying only demeans the act. Just do it.

3. Birthdays should never be made convenient. Celebrate each person's separately no matter how simple the party.

It's official, this is my 4th recession

Shockingly, it is my 4th recession. Not something to celebrate but at least I now know that it is not the end of the world as we know it.

The first one in the early '80s affected those of us who graduated from university arts programs with essentially no 'job skills' (as we were told time and time again). Yes, we were the first unemployeable, educated and hapless generation who picked our way through crappy jobs until things picked up in the late 80's. Then just as you established a degree of compentency, bam, the real estate/high interest rate crash of the late '80s early '90s sucked the life out of jobs and, more positively, the real estate market. Time to buy that first fixer-upper. That one was a doozy with fear lasting for many years. So, that recession was followed by the prosperity of the late 90's until, yep, the tech crash of 1999/2000. Happily, that didn't affect so many of us and at that stage, those of us just entering 'l'age' were experienced and able to skirt around the problem, surviving the blip with careers roughly intact. (Although I believe it changed work forever and heralded in an age where self-employment and contract work may be a safer bet than throwing your lot in with a single employer.) And here we are again, the 4th recession with everyone comparing it to either the Great Depression or at least the prolonged and wide-ranging recession of the early '80s.

So, that's roughly one per decade although this decade is showing two. The first one was relatively minor affecting one over-inflated sector and the 2nd is longish and structural like the biggies of the two previous decades.

This one seems to be based on debt, debt and more debt. Unfortunately, those of us who were trying to save a pittance for our old, non-pensioned age have been caught as well. It begs the question, is there any point in saving for old age when the earnings gained over the growth periods are wiped out by the inevitable recession? Is there any chance that we all won't be working in one way or another anyway? The one I really wonder about is if we should be bothering to save for our children's post secondary education when the economy will probably be so desperate for an increased tax base to pay for all the services needed by a non-pensioned cohort that they'll be throwing jobs at high school graduates just to get them working and paying taxes. Now it's all about graduate school and multiple degrees that incur huge debt (for either parents or kids), prolong adolescence and staves off the activities that are normally associated with adulthood including big ticket spending on homes and family stuff. I suspect education will be free or cheap because it will be mostly online and geared to getting kids in and out.


What really pisses me off about recession culture is the role the media plays in creating an environment in which fear overrides good sense and reasonable living. With all that is newsworthy and under-reported waiting to find a voice, all we hear about is how the recession may affect jobs, shopping and food banks. Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy? What is the media's role in feeding deflation? In this the 4th time around, it seems to me that the culture of recession mostly robs us of any sense that we have some control over our lives. Markets spin out of control (financial or real estate) and then the snowball begins to roll. It's always better to talk to folks who don't pay attention to the news, they continue to live their lives, christmas shop, have people over for dinner and give to food banks.

Should we, as the economic braniac, George W. advised after 9/11, just go out and shop?

Diana!

Cool Britannia arrives in America

When Tony Blair was elected Prime Minister in Britain after years of Thatcherism it was as though a pall had lifted from the U.K. All of a sudden, Britain was cool. Cool Britannia ruled.

With Tuesday's election of the ultra-cool Barack Obama, 'cool' has crossed the Atlantic. The U.S. is about to become very cool. More cool than it has been since JFK and Jackie were doing the twist on the 2nd floor of the White House. Fundamental Christianity, hawkishness and old white guys are so yesterday.

My predictions on the new cool:


1. Casual fridays are finally over. Men, even young men (under 30) will don suits with crisp shirts (white) and ties. The bar has been raised even for casual attire. When walking the kids to a Halloween party or speaking at an outdoor rally in the rain, Barack's has a classic casual uniform, black pants, a white shirt (open collar) and a black windbreaker. That's as casual as he gets. Cargo pants or worse, shorts, XL t-shirts and baseball caps are not clothes for grown men. RIP.

2. The waist is back: For women and men. The days of the baggy-ass pants are coming to an end, and not a moment too soon. It would be nice to see some young, shapely butts again. Lord knows, we women have had to squeeze our hips into ever smaller versions of everything during this miserable era. The thwarting of female power continues unabated ... that's a topic for another time.

For women, dresses are in. Michelle likes them and she looks pretty Jackie O. And they're pretty comfortable, versatile and, like the man suit, can hide lots of flaws. Plus you just have to throw one thing on instead of three (pants/skirt, jacket, shirt) Hilary's pantsuit can take a rest.

3. Public service is in. (O.K. the Wall Street Journal predicted it, but it is a nice shift from financial services)

4. Chili. Barack whips up chili for the family. cute.

5. Cool is not about age. Stephen Harper is about the same age as Barack and look what an old fart he is!


Amidst the financial crisis, the mortgage fiasco, young men and women being killed or maimed in Iraq and Afghanistan, at least the misery can be balanced with a little cool.

Penny Loafers at the Verity Club

A Middle-Aged Affair

It's always reassuring when an author you love is rediscovered. In fact, by the time you've reached l'age moyen that favourite author may be in for their 2nd rediscovery. In my case this author is Elizabeth Bowen.

The wonderful literary biographer, Victoria Glendinning has just written a book chronicling the 30 year love affair between Elizabeth Bowen and Charles Ritchie. Ritchie was a Canadian diplomat posted in London during the Second World War. It was through Charles Ritchie that I first discovered Elizabeth Bowen over 20 years ago. The route to Ritchie began by reading Cecil Beaton's diaries, the noted British illustrator and photographer who began his career in the '20s. Charles Ritchie moved in the same circles. Maybe he captured my interest because he was Canadian, debonair, a great conversationalist,(let's face it, Canadians aren't usually recognized as dazzling society folks) who knows, anyway I quite pleasantly made my way through Charles Ritchie's diaries. He wrote about Elizabeth Bowen with such admiration that I had to investigate further. So, I went to the bookstore and found her paperbacks - sad looking things they were - printed on the cheapest, roughest newsprint and featuring the most trite romance novel-type covers. Happily, the writing was so beautiful and the stories so interesting and quirky that I didn't let the covers deter me from working my way through all the books. Suddenly, she was rediscovered and Penguin reprinted her books with the usual Penguin panache. The BBC gave a couple of her novels the Masterpiece Theatre spin. She assumed her place as a first-class fiction writer. Of course, I felt quite smug for having been loyal to her at her low point.

What has this to do with l'age moyen? One of her best novels is The Heat of the Day which is set in London during the Blitz. It is considered to be a realistic depiction of the experience of being in London during these years. For those of us interested in all things l'age moyen, it portrays the love story between two middle-aged characters, Stella and Robert. The relationship hasn't a trace of naivete about it, and communicates the depth and conviction to ideals, both good and bad, that make l'age moyen so interesting. As a book to reread, its tone and complexity resonates even more deeply now that I'm in l'age moyen.

Elizabeth Bowen, The Heat of the Day
Victoria Glendinning, Love's Civil War, Elizabeth Bowen and Charles Ritchie, Letters and Diaries 1941-1973.

Profis Launch Party Bloor St.

Profis Launch Party Bloor St.

Profis Launch Party Bloor St.

Black Coat in Trinity Bellwoods

Social networking in l'age moyen

O.k. I admit it - I don't understand Facebook. I just don't get it and I don't particularly want to. It can't be a generational thing because lord knows many grandmothers are using it to stay connected with their grandchildren. I have resisted Facebook without knowing why although the light is beginning to dawn.

At this stage in life, friends are so important and the quality of those friendships easily trumps the quantity. Do I really want to reconnect with people I've gone to school or worked with over the last 40+ years? The answers seems to be a resounding 'no'. Maybe for others it's a way of reconnecting with the 'one that got away'. I probably have a few of those if I gave it an ounce of thought. My excuse is I can't afford to lose ounces here and there. I want to save them and lavish my friends with pounds of intense connection, even if we only manage to visit a couple of times a year (and even better if we manage a couple of times per month). Can it be replaced by a quick quip on Facebook? Not for me.

Public access to personal information gets under my skin. One pathetic example came on my birthday. I am linked into a facebook group and I received a birthday greeting from someone who wouldn't otherwise know my birth date. I was rather touched that he had discovered this from someone who would be privy to the date, and then he acted upon it. More fool I. Apparently, when I had to register in the group I needed to post my birth date (of course, I did it without considering the ramifications - should have known better), alas, now it pops up to remind all those in the group of my birthday. What did it achieve? An insincere birthday greeting. No harm was intended or endured, it's just the effect fell far short of the intent. No harm done - no goodwill gained.

You never know, I may get with it and find a role for facebook in my life. Or I can just wait for the whole thing to pass.

What are we waiting for?

As I'm having coffee with a lovely friend who is not yet 40 - not l'age moyen but one looks forward to welcoming her in - we agreed that we should seize the day so to speak when it comes to wearing the fabulous things we have tucked away in the closet.

Let's face it, when one finds oneself firmly in l'age moyen, one also finds a closet full of shoes. There are also a few exquisite black coats not to mention some suits, and more than a few blouses that count as real blouses not shirts. You love them, you buy them and then, you save them for special occasions. Ridiculous. This must change.

Take shoes as one example. Yes, you ogle the gorgeous shoes and you might even think they're classic and you can wear them forever. Well, you can't. Not only does the foot change over time what with all the wear and tear, but the shoes never come back the same way. Like all fashion, reference even homage is made to the past but it is tweaked for the 'now'. The only people who can really get away with vintage are the young. On those of us in the l'age, we just look like we need a wardrobe intervention. So what's the message here, put on the stilettos and make spaghetti sauce. Don't hold back. They won't last and you'll want to be part of the next great shoe movement. You know you will.

For years I saved this beautiful green tweed suit waiting for the big shoulders and double-breasted deatils to come back in style. Never has. 20 years later and those shoulders have just never returned - not in the same way. So, the suit is gone and perhaps I'll see it on the street one day worn with chic irreverance by some trendy young woman. That would be fun.

As part of my wardrobe's new lease on life, I've been wearing a cashmere sweater for the last 2 days that I've been 'saving' for 2 years. And I'll be cooking Thanksgiving dinner in my fabulous suede shoes with my gorgeous blouse and a skirt. I'll feel so French.

And, yes, to counter the affects of extended periods of time in heels, I'll be on my head the moment the guests leave.

My love for les voluptueux

To begin, I am the very antithesis of the full-figured gal. Of course that means there's nothing I love better than les voluptueux - big bones, full breasts, round hips preferably combined with a waist that slides in, even a little. I love it and most of all love it when the woman has the confidence to capitalize on the utter femaleness of her assets. Skirts, belts, jackets that cynch in at the waist with unabashed feminine flutter - lace, ruffles, frilly collars, all that stuff that makes me wish I was that sort of woman.

When I was about 14 years old my sister brought one of these voluptueux home and I followed her around like a love sick puppy. The few times that I saw her she always wore the same dress, it was kind of flowery and flowing with a belt, some kind of a fluffy collar and always always always, even in the house, mary janes with high heels. This was the '70's of course so the look was totally 'in' and utterly fabulous. She was about 18 at the time and new how to wear a dress and, most importantly, recognized that this way of dressing played to her assets. I remember her brother coming in to the house to pick her up a couple of times and he seemed just as entranced as I was.

The next time I spotted one of these babes in a little boutique on Bloor St. (there were still boutiques on Bloor st. back then) in the early '80s where this lovely woman was trying on hats. Again, like her predecessor, she wore a skirt and very feminine blouse, her hair was short and she was uttely feminine and completely lovely. I saw her again waiting in line to pick up tickets at the ballet. She was there with her daughter who must have been about 8 years old. I was so impressed that this 'mother' was still so feminine and attractive. Lucky little girl to learn from such a woman.

Then recently I found another such woman. I would guess that she is mid '30s (not age moyen but no girl) and she was not tall but completely voluptueux wearing a beautiful beige suit with wide legged pants, a short jacket that belted way in and an almost Tudor-like collar setting off her pale colouring. She was so stunning and so comfortable in this outfit that didn't cling, was elegant yet modern and emphasized every curve she had. Such an inspiration.

I regret (again) not having a camera with me so I could show you just what I mean.

Shoes, shoes, shoes

I love the fall. Time to pull out the fall shoes and, more importantly, to invest in new ones. The best shoe store in North America is to be found in Winnipeg. Yes, it is true - winterpeg has the most awe-inspiring shoe collection and it remains a shoe destination point for women living in New York and Paris.

Ronald's Shoes is still run buy Ronald. He chooses the shoes, orders them straight from Donald Pliner's Italian elves (among others including plenty from Stuart Weitzman), and fills his little shop on Osborne with the most beautiful shoes. Strappy, sensual, sexual shoes. You may choose Manolo - I'll take Ronald.

Another fabulous thing about Ronald is that he goes narrow all the way. 4A - need I say more you slim shod women? It is rare and wonderful. Even if you don't have narrow feet, after you've been suitably advised by Ronald's shoe counselors, your feet will slip into something beautiful and assume an elegant, even aristocratic bearing.

Let's be clear - these are definitely shoes for l'age moyen. No platforms, no 6" spikes, these shoes are made for women of a certain age and they make all the desirable bows to fashion without being a slave to it. We have to keep up in the accessories department of course, without looking as though we're aspiring to be 28 again. Nothing worse.

If for no other reason (and there may be none) when in winterpeg, take the longest stop-over possible, hop in a taxi and head straight for Ronald's.

If it were 3 women ...

I've had a little hiatus. I'm back. Enough said.

So, I'm glancing through the New York Times Online and there is a photo of Henry Paulson, Ben Bernanke and Chris Cox, and I can't help but think, if it were 3 women up there holding the world's largest economy in their hands, and who have clearly taken their eyes off the ball over the last few years, do you think there might be some questions around competency and gender? Do you think that might be more than a slight possibility?

It's just amazing to me that all of these men well into l'age moyen have really mucked things up through greed and sheer wanton hubris. I suspect this calls for a little gender discrimination and we should just say, get off the stage you men - you have been toying with matters beyond your bald comprehension and it is time to turn it over to the more rational sex.

And could Hank Paulson get himself a suit that actually fits? If he were a woman we'd be transfixed by the ill-fitting suit, and this from a guy who left Goldman Sachs with $38 million.

All these men with all this experience and what a mess it is.

Paring Down

With the weather taking a decidely spring-like turn I am getting the planting itch. This itch has changed considerably in the age moyen. It used to be an ambitious vision of continuous blooms and balancing of colours, and weighting the garden evenly between steady perennials and robust annuals. Well, that is over.

The small garden that came ready-planted in my little city plot has been wiped out in favour of three slow-growing evergreens. The emphasis is on order and bird habitat. So, on one side is a line of green, on the other stones and large pots where I'll play with pinks and greens. The remaining part of the 'garden' will exist in pots with lots of herbs many of which will come indoors in the fall.

I know for others the draw is towards investing time in the garden and creating layers upon layers of interest. That appears to be over for me. I want to look at something that calms the eye, soothes the soul, produces a small but useful crop, and most of all frees me from weeding.

When I'm no longer looking after so many other things maybe then, after l'age moyen, I'll return to the garden with new vigour.

Maybe.

In Fine Voice

I have the pleasure of dealing with a woman who has the most beautiful voice - so beautiful it is a pleasure just to listen to her voicemail recording. Clearly an English accent but after many years on the other side it is well-situated in the mid-Atlantic range. It is rather sing-song-ish without be affected and is so welcoming and joyous that she does sound like a bird who sings for the sheer joy of making the sound.

This lovely voice belongs to a woman who has experienced the full slice of life with its full helping of sadness and heartbreak and all the other stuff that we travel through on the way to l'age moyen. Upon meeting her one has the pleasure of seeing the voice fit the face, lovely, enthusiastic, animated and fully reciprocal (here I mean genuinely interested in you and everyone at the table).

Perhaps the voice is the window to the spirit as the eyes are the window to the soul. Are the soul and spirit two separate things?

The Zit/Wrinkle Mystery

Upon entering my 40s I was psychologically and cosmetically prepared to deal with a new era of skin issues in the form of lines, wrinkles and sagging skin. I was up for a new challenge. Alas, the l'age moyen came in with an extra wrinkle - zits. Sore, red zits that would appear and stay for months. I was plagued with adult acne in a new incarnation and one that two dermatologists would simple not call acne. They prescribed acne drugs like Tetracyclene but called the problem 'environmental'. Sure, it was all over my personal facial environment. If they had said it was acne I would have headed to the drugstore for some 'acne treatment' instead of enduring months of tetracyclene.

Everytime I stopped the tetracyclene the zits came back. Instead I tried makeup, then removing beloved pleasures from my diet (caffeine and alcohol, never again), and even endured a nasty clay cleanse (eat nothing and drink liquid clay - a near-death experience) when two ladies of a certain age came to my rescue and advised me to try Proactiv. Yes, that stuff that Jessica Simpson flogs on paid commercial programming. Much to my surprise, it worked. Within a week all my bumps were gone and now I'm never without a supply. I don't need to use it all the time just when the hormones kick in or kick out and boom, I nip the zit in the bud with one fell swoop.

What this does mean is that the moisturizing routine requires a kind of precise missile targeting to ensure the right stuff attacks the right spot without too much collateral damage. The eyes get the anti-aging, vitamin e treatment while the spot just below may need a full-on treatment of Proactiv cleanser, tonic and moisturizer. Whatever works.

I don't mean to shill Proactiv, I think there are other products around that do the same thing, the point here is that those annoying zits aren't going anywhere without some tactical strikes.

Perhaps this points to one of the benefits of l'age ancien: The final end to zits. Hope springs eternal.

Do blonds have more fun in l'age moyen too?

Research shows that blonds do have more fun in the early years what with our species (both men and women) predelection to be drawn to the halo of light that emanates from the angelic blond. Once the mousy brunette crosses the floor and douses herself with blondness it seems to be a rare gal who willingly retraces her steps back to the relative anonymity of brunettehood. In France it is said there are no brunettes over 40. "La blonde" is the term used to describe the girlfriend/boyfriend en francais. There the French go again calling la spade la spade.

But what happens when everything below the hairline says 40+ and everything above screams 18? Is it harder for blonds to approach l'age moyen?

In commercials for hair colour the brunette is battling to cover her greys while the blonde enjoys lasting, lustrous colour. Denial is ingrained in the blonde psyche. You will never grey, implies the advertising, as the chosen people you will enrich your colour forever.

I admit to a deep fascination with coloured, highlighted and highly styled hair. I love it. I yearn for it and yet have only dipped my toe in the colourist' s pool, so to speak. The little that I've done requires too much maintenance. And as much as I revel in the complexity of colour and product, I adore and am equally fascinated with a head chock full of grey. I love grainy grey with all the tones and variations and what's not to love about that real white hair that is brighter than any blonde.

On the subway one afternoon a woman of a certain age charged into the car with a head of thick hair that sprung from her scalp in a well-cut yet straw-like way. The greys ranged from medium to dark without being salt and pepper. It was gorgeous. It didn't hurt that she wore a beautiful grey coat and accessorized herself thematically from top to bottom. It was all grey but there was nothing 'gray' about her.

I suspect this lady in grey was having a pretty good time all around. Inspiration for blondes.

Proceed cautiously

A word to the debutante headstander: Proceed with caution. I was not able to achieve a comfortable headstand until I received excellent instruction from a certain yoga teacher who had a whole loft full of women of l'age moyen upside down and loving it.

It's all in the arms, folks. Who knew. Once you get the arm position down you'll be able to enjoy the thrill of gravity actually doing something good for your body.

Ken and Barbie have held onto their age moyen for decades, now it's your turn.

Are they veins or vines?

My hands cause great concern to the very young and very observant. No I'm not close to dying because you can trace the blue veins (rather vine-like I admit) through the backs of my hands, and, yes, it does come along with the age moyen territory.

There is no camouflaging the hands (although I'm sure there is some cosmetic procedure to take the fat from your butt and pump it into your hands) save for wearing gloves. You can botox your face, dye your hair and dress like a tween but you can't hide your hands. One can moisturize for a silken effect, one can choose a strong nail colour to distract the eye, or you can say, these hands have served me well and, if I keep using them everyday to dig in the ground, knead bread, braid hair and write thank you notes. I may claim them as well-deserved and well-loved.

Sadly, this is one sign of l'age moyen that cannot be recovered through a headstand. Worth a try though.

Bicycles

Spring has arrived in the melting north. That means bicycles and the official launch of bicycle season. We usually have bicycles around all winter but with so much snow this winter only the truly hardy or foolish were on their bicycles.

The old bikes are the best. When I was in Holland far too long ago I expected to see shiny bicycles in great repair. Just the opposite. Never seen so many beat up bicycles with bits dragging along behind. Speed did not seem to be a desired outcome of a bicycle ride. They meandered usually carrying some flowers which the Dutch can't do without. The problem in Holland is that if you have a nice bike it will be stolen so everyone rides these beat up things.

I hate all the gear but I hate that about all sports. I have a lovely old Dutch bike that is too heavy to go uphill so if I need to navigate some hills I take my trusty little CCM 3 speed. Old Dutch has saddlebags (purchased in Holland and long since faded from their jaunty green plaid) and my CCM has a lovely wire basket that sits on the back fender.

My favourite cyclists are those who maintain their individual style throwing caution to the wind, which means no helmets, gloves or bicycle shorts. Those that manage to look great and wear a helmet receive extra points.

Look for photos of dapper cyclists in the coming months. Look out, I'm packing my camera ....

Hilary's hair

In the interests of presenting a balanced view, a word about Hilary and specifically her hair. Fabulous. Think lionness - thick, yellow, firmly in place - a modern hair helmet. So much better than the mixed messages she sent while first lady. As much as we try, can't forget the velvet hairband with the bangs. Non, non and no.


I love the colour and the fact that it is so deeply coloured with highlights and lowlights, the works. It is a bit Catherine Deneuve-ish which is a good thing. No one does it better than la belle du jour and it is the commitment to colour that I respect. If you're going to colour your hair then do it boldly, forget trying to look quasi natural. Who are you kidding? Go all the way or go grey.


A word on clothes: While she can't compete with Barack's elegance I am in full agreement that pants are the way to go and I like the jacket with matching jewellery combo. Totally works and provides a great set-up for the big yellow hair.