Until one has comfortably accepted one's place in age moyen there is a tendency in our youth obsessed culture to dress young. Here in the great white north that generally entails some sort of jacket and for women a shoulder bag, knapsack or some other flung-over-the-shoulder stuff holder. That works for a long time and is extremely functional when you're herding around small children. But when that phase ends it is time to dress in l'age. While it is important to dress for your 'age' it is critical not to look like you just came out of Talbots. Talbots is fine for the aging boomers but not for the middle-aged Joneses. (More on that demographic in a separate post.)
For me dressing in l'age began with a handbag. I dropped the shoulder bag in favour of a well-constructed, somewhat boxy, beige leather Tod's bag which I scored at Value Village for $6.99. It is a beautifully made bag with the right length of handle that prevents it from swinging around when I walk, it hangs neatly in the crook of my arm and, in a pinch, can slip over my shoulder when only two hands will do. It has the right number of pockets for small items and the main pouch is big enough for wallet, reading glasses, sun glasses and a paperback or collapsible umbrella. The sides are somewhat rigid so it never collapses when placed resolutely on a store counter or restaurant table. In short, it holds its own.
In addition to switching to the handbag I nixed the jacket for a coat. A jacket says I'm on the run, a coat says I'm making careful decisions and won't be rushed.
And that's it. You can make other changes but it's not necessary (although good shoes or boots help the cause). The coat and handbag represent experience, practicality plus style and, as my dear friend at Mid-Read observed, you are welcomed into most environments with a degree of gravitas, warmth and respect.
We often forget how those in l'age jeune are frequently treated with disrespect and poor service. Recently on a lunch hour excursion to the AGO my dear friend Mid-Read witnessed the less than hospitable treatment on the part of the security/front door staff towards some college students who found themselves in the door on a school trip stood up by their teacher who held the admission tickets. The students did not receive the same greeting as did those in other age brackets. In fact, the differences were notable and so insulting that my dear friend gallantly stepped in a bold effort to sweep them in under her membership umbrella. Even with our combined memberships we couldn't get them in (and such a missed opportunity for the AGO who would not budge to let these students and potential life-long members in for free) and they made do with strolling through the public spaces and being ignored.
Would the coat/handbag strategy have worked for these 19 year olds. I think not. They are the symbols of l'age and require years of effort to be able to brandish about. It is important to note that there are advantages to l'age and it is equally important to enjoy them responsibly.
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1 comment:
Beautifully observed and described, no regret of the youthful options that we are supposed to envy.
I must confess I submitted a note of concern to the AGO executive regarding that unfortunate incident. It was, according to my husband, more angry in tone then he expected it to be. But it was convenient that I was able to respond to a member's update email. What do you think:
Thank you for your invitation to respond to your message. I have already enjoyed several visits to the gallery. I am one of the many who are excited to see how much more of the collection is on display, and the increased curatorial diversity the exhibits address. I look forward to many more visits with family and friends. My daughter, a student, is a member also and has enjoyed experiencing the gallery through its transformation.
During my last visit, however, I had two experiences that left me uncomfortable about being a member. While waiting in the entrance area I watched the volunteer greeter welcome many visitors. The welcome given to a group of five students was one and it left me very angry. They were, it appeared, to meet their teacher in the lobby and when she did not appear, their enquiry about entrance fees was very rudely responded to by the same greeter who had been unfailingly polite to others. The students behaviour was polite and deferential, so this rudeness may have been due to their being not white and female and students. I gave them two guest passes on my membership and hoped they would be able to cover the rest. This is not the purpose of the membership but the behaviour I witness made me ashamed and angry.
The same visit, even though I had both my entrance ticket in hand and a sticker for a member preview visible on my person, I was requested to show my membership card on entering the photo gallery by the volunteer greeter. It was in a surprisingly rude manner and abruptly woke me from my art viewing pleasure. It also required me to take my card from my wallet in the midst of a crowded gallery. I was accompanied by a friend, a professor of art, and like me brown, who as well had to expose her wallet to show her professional membership.
Your staff, in my experience, is well trained and gracious as befits an serious cultural institution in a cosmopolitan centre. I wish your volunteers to receive the same training.The scene I witnessed and treatment I received made me ashamed to be associated with the AGO. More to the point the ethnic and cultural diversity of our city, and the importance of nurturing a new generation of cultural participants requires the AGO to make a change in the training of volunteers and allow everyone to be, and feel, equally welcome.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to my next visit with more comfort having communicated this to you. I will be bringing another friend, also non-white, but middle-age like me.
Congratulations on your renovation,
No doubt being l'age moyen will require practice, and all the props, material and otherwise, to be exercised well.
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